This is an open letter to anyone concerned with the growing or shrinking of a body other than their own, particularly to the three middle-aged women who were recently rude enough to comment on my weight gain. I encourage you to consider that any woman struggling with her body could be overcoming an eating disorder, unmanageable stress (thus causing a change in eating, sleeping, fitness habits), the misfortune of a miscarriage, or simply a love/hate relationship with diet and exercise. Regardless it isn't your business and it certainly isn't your place to ask or comment.
I've put on some weight. This, I am aware of.
Going from the photo on the left to the photo on the right wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight but hard work in the form of careful, very restrictive dieting and an intense workout regime got me there. The benefits were magnificent! I felt rejuvenated, young and hot! I had an energized excitement and more muscle definition than I'd ever previously had. I felt unstoppable!
Fast forward a few months and the reverse happened.
Still, it isn't your place to comment.
I am not asking for your opinion so please stop with the unwarranted and unnecessary "Wow! You've gained weight" comments; the highly offensive "How could you possibly have let yourself go?" questions; or my personal favorite the super intrusive "You better not be pregnant!" exclamations. Of course sometimes these phrases are masked as genuine interest or concern and said in more gentle ways, but we all know what the underlying message is - You look fat.
Take my word for it if you noticed, I noticed. I assure you, you didn't beat me to it.. Last summer's clothes did! But before I go any further I have to make one thing clear my body is my business!
This means that I don't owe you, whoever you may be, an explanation as to why I've gained or lost a pound, why my love handles are looking more like tires or anything else as it relates to my body.
But for the sake of this blog post and answering the questions of concerned citizens, curious minds, the nosy and everyone in between, I'll continue..
Like most women, I have struggled with my weight since before my first period. Yep, it started that young!
I've had comments and questions surrounding my fluctuating weight since moving to Florida in the eighth grade where curious childhood friends wondered how I dropped the baby fat to result-crazed naysayers and eating disorder enablers who don't believe healthy diet and exercise alone do enough and encourage fad diets, food group depletion and the ingestion of harmful, man-made products (No, thanks!).
As an adult I am accepting that without serious commitment and effort I'm not going to be happy with my body, but most importantly I won't feel well so on Monday of last week I decided to hit the local track to get back to basics. When it was over I sobbed a bit. I was devastated by how unraveled I'd become and disgusted with my inability to jog a single lap without stopping. Less than a week later I'm already seeing improvements. This weekend I jogged two laps without rest! (:
That being said I am hard enough on myself as is and I am not accepting outside views on my body because in case you were confused my body isn't here for your pleasure, acceptance or admiration. Not now, not ever!
'Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof
when your own doorstep is unclean.'